whoops

Soooooo it's 2011, and I completely forgot that my 2009 new year's resolution was to "blog more". Complete Fail. Sorry to all -3 of my readers out there. I will try harder...

Steady As She Goes...in 2009

Okay. So yes I know it's like halfway through January, but lots of people/books/movies always are preaching that it's never too late to change and turn things around so I'm gonna go with that. I've thought about it the past couple of weeks, and have finally decided on resolutions that I really think aren't that far fetched, and who knows - there might be a remote possibility that I might be able to achieve these things I'm laying out for myself. Here Goes Nothing:

1. To completely STOP shopping at malls. Yes, those who know me will probably think I've either lost my marbles or have been abducted and replaced by some blogging poseur psychopath - but this is me talking. I live in an area of the country where there's not so very much...room...for creativity as far as fashion goes. It also happens to be the same part of the country that has the highest unemployment rate as well as having lots of negative light cast on it from all over the media in terms of economy and how the area government is run (which is true but unfortunate). This is not a time for me to be spending spending spending on mall impulse purchases that I won't wear/use in about a year, and things are far to dire for my money to just be sitting lamely in my closet. With the increasing availability of original and much more beautiful things via the internet at discounted prices, there is no reason I should be buying unoriginal pieces from the mall at retail price. Even sales at the mall have become such a huge waste of time, and you have to buy them then and there. In the past couple of years, things like sample sales and vintage buys have been steadily increasing via the web, and I fully expect to take advantage of these things. And anyways, some of my favorite designers aren't even carried at places like Saks and Neimans. So bye bye mall. Maybe next year.
2. Keep a continual workout schedule, and maintain a healthy diet so I can drop the extra 12 lbs that I've been toting around with me for the better part of 2 years. I know there are some of you that want to stab me for always talking about this, but there it is. I am by no means fat, but I just am not happy with how my body now responds to my aging metabolism. Plus I eat like a crackhead. I starve myself one day, then binge the next. No good. So that I stop annoying people by talking about it all the time, I'm going to get on this lovehandled horse and ride it till I get into a groove of maintaining myself in a healthy way. But I will not give up chocolate - how's that for a challenge?
   
3. Find a new job...elsewhere...by summer. I've been here for 2 years now and the time has come for me to move on. I have to grow, and I've hit my ceiling of growth here most definitely. Enough said.
4. Pay off debt. Loans. Credit Card (I'm down to one!!) - Enough said. I can do it.
5. Be a little more daring. Last year, when faced with doing something like going out or being productive I would shrink into my apartment and hide. I wore a t-shirt every day, to every occasion. I slept too much. You know that feeling when you step outside of your box, get no sleep, take chances and overall feel a little bit wired? Well, I want that. Instead of sleeping 10 hours a day on the weekends, I'm going to go venture out. Even if it's just a trip to the bookstore or sitting at a park, I'm going to do it (thank God gas is cheaper now). I'm going to bury my t-shirts behind my oven and only take them out when it really is a slouchy occasion. I'm going to wear more interesting things. So if you see me walking around with a necklace on my head or my pants pulled up to my temples, it's only because I'm on a stepping stone to get to the more daring side of me. I apologize now for any future whackiness that might upset you, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
6. Do a crossword puzzle every week. I heard that this fights off the onset of any kind of dementia and just basically keeps your mind sharp. I want that. My ex-boyfriend's grandpa is 88 years old and does this every week, and he's sharp as a nail. Those of you that know me know that my greatest fear is to die whacked out of my mind and alone. I can't predict the not dying alone, but I definitely try to stave off the nuttiness with a crossword puzzle or two.
7. Get things done within a week of promising to do them. This is good because how many times have people said that they are going to to do something, only to put it off for days then weeks then surprise! it's 2010 and all those things you never did are just jumping off points for depression.
8. Take more pictures. I received my very first ever camera for christmas this year, and I intend to use it every opportunity I get. I'm not letting that thing go to waste. 

That's about it, as far as my realistic goals for this year are concerned. If I am able to accomplish that short list of things, I might be able to tackle my crazier goals like oh, say, learning to speak French or actually being cool again. Who knows? One day.

My Animalia Equivalents

For lack of inspiration on what to post about (since i promised certain readers i would blog today), i'm feeling the funny pictures will help get my brain warmed up. 

Here are some interesting animals depicting the day ins and day outs of my life:

This is me on most saturday nights, when i'm broke but just really need to get drunk:

I really like Rock Band, I just really get into the guitar part:

This is me when my friend told me she was pregnant:

I am into espionage, and I am a master of many disguises:

Can you see me?

How about now?

no, didn't think so.

I never did learn how to juggle, although I practice regularly sometimes on my days off. I can only do it with one object though:(

When I was in high school, I used to have to drive my friends around alot since I was one of the few kids in my group of friends that had a decent car. I didn't mind though, it was my pleasure:

I'm a pretty pathetic person to date - when i was in college and on the rebound from my first boyfriend, i used to give hot guys that i liked my number and sit around waiting for them to call:

Since then, i have become a little more confident and crafty in the ways of love. And who needs to date anyways when you can just stalk hot guys on Facebook while you're at work?

I'm not that hard to please, and living the single life has its perks. For example, when i'm not trying to post attractive pictures of myself on Facebook for people to admire and envy, I can let go of the facade at home and just let it all hang out!:

Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people and going on dates, or just plain going out. But most people forget what it's like to be single when they've been in loving relationships for years and years. It's not all bouncy cleavage and steamy sex in the back of a club, or even mature conversations about your portfolio over endless glasses of vintage reds. Usually for me, it's just trying to figure out how you ended up at P.F. Changs listening to some guy drone on and on about how he wishes he could re-live his college glory days while you try not to look spaced out:

However, every so often I do meet that special someone. And when I do, you can be sure that the charm is turned up to 11:

But I digress. My dates are few and far between. Most of my days are filled with trucking my ass back and forth from downtown detroit, just trying to make ends meet and pay the bills. It is not all glamourous, let me tell you. Why, one time i was pulled over by the cops and through a case of mistaken identity had to wait for 45 minutes while they searched my vehicle and accused me of doing a drive by over on the west side!: 

Of course, they realized their mistake and let me go with apologies. But from thenceforth I was much more careful, and learned not to panic so much:

Additionally, I have made some resolutions for 2009 that will hopefully get my life back on track. Some are small steps that will progress towards a better future, and some are steps to help me maintain a healthy image of myself. Lately, my boochie cousins and I have been making attempts to get into better shape by going to workout class twice a week, which is fantastic because it lets us socialize with each other while we do something fun. It's helped me get a better attitude about getting out of my apartment, and overall created a more jovial mood:

Cousin Trina and I also have been trying to better improve how we photograph. She is getting married in the early summer and so we are taking this time to experiment with wearing makeup at ALL TIMES, that way we get more comfortable with looking good when taking pictures, so we don't end up looking gnarly in the wedding photos:

At the end of the day, I can feel calm and relaxed knowing that even though I'm not yet where I want to be in life, I'm well on my way. This feeling of peace and stillness is liberating, and I can happily say that it's helped me get a better good night's sleep.

Of course, there are those few nights where I do still have to take an ambien....

Goodnight!

Feathers, Flowers, Fringe and Fun

So everyone knows i am so for the idea of wearing...something... in our hair for cousin's wedding next june. it'll look just killer cool with our beautiful faces!!! here are some ideas that i found while i was fishing around on my lazy friday:

I like the last one especially.

ohana means jack shit

so i get a text from someone mass texting everyone in their phone saying that their number has changed, and i texted back asking "who is this" and then after that i got the second part of the text that said that it was david perkins. then my retard father texts me saying " gee thanx. if you read the whole text you would know it is just one of the 2 people that helped bring you into this world."

ASS. i wanted to say, yeah you brought me here but definitely didnt do shit to keep me alive. i freaking hate that i share half of my genes with this immature douche bag. he acts like its my fault we lost touch, that it's my freaking fault HE moved all over the freaking united states and never called me. yeah, what's a six year old to do? how the crap am i supposed to know who it is when he texts me from some random number once every other year?

ugh.

rant over.

Bright Lights, Shiny Disco Balls

Wow so it's been a while since I last looked at this thing. It's been pretty busy working here in Detroit. Right now there are two categories of people: The hordes of those that are laid off, and the hordes of those that have to pick up the 3, 4, 5 extra workloads of the people who were laid off. That's me.

Luckily, things have been winding down here at the offic

e so I am taking it upon myself to blog again. And this particular post is a little shoe oriented because one of my boochie cousins is getting married and I have the very delightful task of helping figure out shoes. I know I have shoes on the brain most of the time as it is, so this shoe finding task fits expediently into my shoe obsession.

A lot of the Fall 08 shoes have been geared towards texture, texture, texture. Delightful. While suede has always been the go to material for fall, there are so many more options this year:

miu miu

Also, let's not forget about how animal print has always been such a cold weather staple:

Lanvin

YSL

Alaia

Happy Fall!

i need a drink

holy shit. everyone at my work just quit except one person (and me of course).

more later...

A moment in nerdy time

The top five most unrealistic goals I had for myself when I was 13 years old:

1. To marry Prince William by the time I was eighteen (& have his children by age nineteen):
2. To learn the ways of The Force:
   
   
   
3. To have hair exactly like Rachel from "Friends":
   
   
4. To star as the villain in the next Batman movie (this was after "Forever" and before the irreverent desecration caused by "Batman & Robin") as Harley Quinn, remember her?:
5. To not have to wear clothes from Lands End EVER AGAIN (actually quite realistic since 13 was when i graduated from land's end to RAVE - barf!):
   

Cleo v2.0 Contest Winner(s)

And the winning names are...

• Olive
• Lilo
• Kit Kat

I am going to give these names to my dear friend and she is going to choose from these three. Since there was kind of a tie with the second name, (two people listed it) I am going to give a runner up prize to be fair.

So the winners are Trina and Kim. You guys had what it took to name a cat. Fame and Fortune will follow you wherever you go in life, and maybe some nameless cats as well.

Please email or text me what prize you would each like to have mailed, and include the address you would like to have it mailed to.

Cleo v2.o Contest Update

I've gotten some pretty good responses so far for the Cat, and now I just have to hurry and pick a name that I like because I'm starting to enjoy calling her "kitty"...

I will be compiling a list of the names I like from what people suggested by Thursday, so if you haven't thought of a name yet you had better get one posted by then!

xo boochie

p.s. alyssa - i was in delta zeta. please for the love of god don't join a social sorority - they cost so much money. join an academic one, much cheaper and more beneficial to your resume.

I got a new Cleo v2.0 contest!

So my friends and I found this abandoned kitty cat about six weeks ago prowling around their house, and finally this past Monday (my monday off!) I took her into the Humane Society to get her checked for worms and vaccinated so my darling friend could keep her. It's strange because she's almost in every way exactly like Cleo, so much so that when I went home I had to make sure Cleo was still kicking it around my apartment instead of wandering random neighborhoods. 

The poor creature was so malnourished and underweight, but it was so strange since she is declawed on all four paws - something that costs a fair amount of money for an animal that is just going to be abandoned eventually. Anyways, the vet said that this happens alot. Someone gets a pet, goes through the process of getting spayed/neutered, declawed, vaccinated - but for some reason or another figures that it doesn't want to pay to feed the animal anymore and just lets it loose in some suburban neighborhood. To me that doesn't make any sense since all the bills totaled up from spaying and declawing the animal are more than a whole years worth of feeding it. Why make the "investment" if you're just going to abandon it when the hard part is over with? Anyways, I digress.

So there's this cat, and I have the task of having to name it. Mind you, I have never named anything in my life. Any animal I have ever owned has always come to me with a name (almost like getting a new room mate but without the sex addiction and bad habit of stealing your clothes) and the only thing in my life that I think I have ever named was Beary, my teddy bear, which did not take much creativity to do.

So, I need help naming this animal - It's a girl which is kind of hard since I had some pretty good boy names lined up and didn't think of girl names at all. I can't think of anything that isn't something you'd name a human or too cutesy (i hate cutesy) - so please help!

Leave suggestions in the comment section. So that people don't leave sarcastic names like "stupid" or "roadkill" (both very nice but inappropriate) I'm going to make this into a contest.

The person that comes up with the name I like most will get to choose ONE of the following prizes:

1. Thymes Lavender Travel Kit (Includes body wash, shampoo & conditioner, bath salts, body lotion) - lavender scent
2. Desktop hanging photo frame, silver and glass (very cool)
3. 1 bottle of MAC nail polish in Noir
4. Sushi gift set (includes sushi mat, chopsticks, 2 laquer or ceramic sushi stands, cookbook)
5. Stationary set/Thank you card set (don't worry, i have nice ones for you

**EDIT** Okay - so that all these prizes don't sound like they're from you-know-where, I 'm going to make one of the prizes (in honor of cousins alyssa and allie):

6. One pair of Havianas Flip Flops (can see them here)

  i pick if theyre either the bobbi brown, laura mercier, or trish mcevoy one though.

I will personally pay for postage and mail the item to you all nice and wrapped up special. If I end up USING the name you provide you can choose TWO things from the list. WHAT AN AWESOME INCENTIVE!!!! I might even throw in a bonus prize if you guys can come up with it in the next week. Contest ends when the cat gets a name.

Think Kittys!

Blog vows

Sooooo it has come to my attention that the following equation holds true for blogs:

daily updates + interesting subjects x good pictures = more people reading my blog

So, kindof like Cousin Pammy, I am going to do a post on my blog every day for as long as I can, and will try as hard as I can to make it sort of interesting.

Feel free to leave comments on my posts suggesting things I should talk about or gear towards - fashion? my life? things i have to complain about? my utter refusal to capitalize the beginning of sentences? The more comments that are posted to my site, the more I will be encouraged to talk about stuff you would like to read about when you are bored. I might also start a Facebook Page, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

That being said, the two people who DO read my blog - will you kindly leave links in the comments section to the following that I never knew existed and don't know how to find:

• Cousin Patrick's Blog (am extremely interested in my most mysterious cousin's musings and life in general)
  
• Your facebook page (if you have one) so I can stalk you to be my friend when I make my own.
• Links to your own blog so I can put it on my blogroll...I am very interested in you, you see:)

Let's put a smile on that face...

The best Dark Knight Review that's ever going to be out there

"A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy"

So this is what I'm hoping to emulate, for fall 2008 (Proenza Schouler RTW Fall '08):

I'm so loving the detail of the colorful tights. I am def investing in colored and textured tights this year. Gives the outfit a little kick, no?

The combination of jewel tones here is so yummy. I love the pop of color with the shoes.
I have so many black dresses, I love that this is a way to update them and make them more interesante.

Now, if only I had the legs to go with this outfit.

What I do at work

I get a lot of family members/adults/randoms that constantly ask me what it is that I do at work? For some reason people think I work at a store, or in retail. It's been about six years since I've worked retail, people. I work at a graphics design studio, and I do shit like shoot photos and draw up ads and logos for events, help the senior graphics designers with editing and whatever else. Oh yes, and I graduated from a University and I wasn't a cheerleader in high school (according to some people who have known me my whole life). The most that I do for retail is help out with licensing and buying for my boss's wife's store:

I'd like you to meet my single friend...

So, now that I'm officially OFFICIALLY single ("official" meaning "if I had the choice between peeling all of my skin off and having to talk to that lump of misery that was my boyfriend of three years, I'll start peeling) all of my friends have decided that I am the "perfect candidate" for their boyfriend's/fiancee's/husband's/dog's REEAAALLY CUTE and NICE friend that I have to meet - so what am I doing friday?

Now, not that I don't appreciate everyone's concern over what must be my broken heart over a miserably failed relationship - but I do ask that some people consider their real motivators in slapping me together with their single friend. Namely, is it because we are "single"? Is that the only deciding common factor that I have with your super-cute friend? Because if it is, then we might run into some problems. Case in point:

My very well-meaning friend and her fiancee decided last Thursday that the time was ripe to introduce me to their single friend whose assets include being nice, employed, and single. Probably the most generic assets known to us single people everywhere, but usually those are enough to get you in the door so who am I to be picky? 

I show up to the bar that was the established meeting place for the four of us, and right away I got an overload of a first impression. Tattoos everywhere, check. Smokes, check. Rogue eyeball, check. You get the idea. 

Since I am the nicest person that I know when it comes to giving people chance after chance, I spent the whole night chatting my tattooed singleton up. My impression of him pretty much didn't change - he definitely was nice, and yes he drove a nice car and has a good job, but still - my compatibility-o-meter wasn't screaming for more. 

His, on the other hand, was. He started to do that thing where he would laugh and touch my leg with his colorful, tattooed hand. He would get up and place his hand on my waist as he passed me even though there was tons of space for him to navigate past my chair. He kept squeezing my knee. But I get it, I have nice knees. When we went to go say goodbye he nestled me into a full body hug that lasted about 4 seconds too long, and made a noise like this "mmmmmmmmmmmm....:):):)"

Oh god. I confronted my dear friend afterwards and she couldn't stop laughing, as if this was all just for her amusement to begin with. Apparently, my smoking tattoo date has been a little too single for a little too long, and therefore might come off as a little overeager - "a little too willing to fall in love", as she put it, but isn't he nice? Oh yes, fantastic! Sign me up for some l-o-v-e!

So here are just a few, simple guidelines that I ask people adhere to when they think of me and then think of their single guy friend and decide to smash us together like plastic Barbie and Ken dolls:

1. Please keep in mind that I don't smoke cigarettes, I never have and I never will. This probably means that I won't be able to kiss someone who is a chronic cigarette smoker. Think about all those people in other countries that eat ants and crickets and think it's the shit - I'm sure in their world critters taste great, but it's just something that people in my world will never get used to no matter how many times they try it.
2. My mother might be one of the most accepting people I know, but she still has no notion of what "hardcore" is. Chances are if you walk into her house with tattoo sleeves, she will stare, and rightly so.
3. Two single people do not a perfect match make. You might wonder why I agree to be set up then. It is because I have this thing where I hate to disappoint my friends when they get excited over something. Far be it for me to kill your giggly optimism, but I will work on saying "no" - please work on knowing my tastes.

And for you nice guys out there that do end up deciding that I'm not a complete bitch and I would be rather nice company to dinner or a movie, just one thing: Please don't touch me. I've known you for 47 minutes and it kind of works like museum rules: As much as you'd like to touch the nice looking things, you are prohibited until you get exclusive authorization.

I'm Kan, the Louis Vuitton Don

When rap superstars and fashion superstars collide:

Lol.

I see these losers everywhere

I found this while reading the Washington Post this morning.

Ha ha, it's kind of funny that I'm not the only one annoyed by these pests:

My "Best of" List for the "Best of Craigslist"

Friday + 90 degrees + everyone is at the Redwings Parade + the air is off = I've already checked out for the weekend.

So it's days like today where I sit lazily at my computer and scroll around the internet hoping to find something to make the minutes go by. Usually I like to go to Craigslist and read the funny postings that some very hilarious people purposefully or inadvertantly put up.

Here's my top ten faves, starting at ones that made me chuckle down to the ones that made me have to crawl under my desk at work and stifle laughs into the carpet. And you must read them cause maybe they'll brighten up your day. Or make you recoil in horror. Either way, my work is done.

10) Found Cat - black w/white stripes

9) Thanks, Mr.Hipster Record Store Clerk

8) Expensive Loser Wanted!!!

7) The local ten o'clock news

6) Dear Star Wars ex-boyfriend, my vag is sore

5) Want your ex-boyfriend back? (Unfortunately) I can help.

4) to the guy doing my wife

3) Rant: To the 23 year old girl I met at the bar

2.5) It's me! Every girl ever.

2) OK . . . I give up . . . just fuck me like a whore (very dirty, be warned!)

1) I am RICH and I want to spend it on YOU tonight.

Stay cool my babies!!!

For all the crazy Redwings Fans that are going to make it harder for me to drive downtown and get lunch today, please drink water and don't faint in the streets. It's going to be upwards of 90 degrees today, and we've all had ample warning of the heat wave that's coming this weekend.

Anyways, have lots of fun, and yay Detroit.