Um...

So I finally googled "cauliflower ear" and saw pictures of what it is, and .... EW.

Another reason why I can't understand why those idiots on UFC say that "they love what they do" because really, getting pummeled to the point where some girl in Detroit has to google pictures to figure out wtf is wrong with your ear and then being totally repulsed not only by you but also your profession, is not my idea of a dream job.

I am so repulsed by this phenomenon that I can't even post a picture of it, but for those of you that like crap like this, here's a link. Enjoy.

*note - apparently answers.com thinks that cauliflower ear is right up there with herpes, as info links for both are grouped together. yippee UFC.

I cried "tears of fashion" (Part une)

So me and the boochies went and saw SATC on Saturday like good little girls, and here's what I have to say:

1) I want these Christian Dior Gladiators so much I might pawn Cleo.

I was especially impressed how Patricia Field Re-used the accessories to freshen them up and give it a more realistic aspect of a character's wardrobe, instead of just "showcasing" different new outfits in every shot (think: Devil Wears Prada).

2) I almost cried when they nodded to Carrie's original vintage convertible fur coat. I especially love how even after 10 years, it's still a trusty go to piece when you need to just throw something on. I also have been wanting that Erin Featherstone sparkley beret since it came out two seasons ago, but I don't have enough cats to sell in order to afford it.

Carrie Now

Carrie circa 2000

3) And I love that Zac Posen did all three bridesmaids looks, the colors are visually stunning, and the looks are all so extremely different but together it's very cohesive. Very Yum.

Especially Charlotte's so-hard-to-walk-in-that-it-makes-for-good-comedy black frock.

More to come...

‘SATC’: We Watched the Movie, But We Really Watched the Clothes

Here is a NY Magazine article from my two of my fave fashion blog critics. It sums up perfectly EVERYTHING that I felt during the SATC Movie:

"Don’t ask how we ended up rolling into a 10:10 a.m. screening of Sex and the City, in a theater crammed to the gills with Ladies Who Lunch tucking designer shades into knockoff handbags and gossiping during the film about whether Candace Bergen looks bloated. Just know that sometimes the prospect of a big-screen buffet of expensive clothes, big hair, and killer stilettos is hard to resist. Fear not, we’ll warn you before we dish plot spoilers, but we don’t think it will ruin anything to tell you that the heart of the film does and always will belong to one Mr. above all others: Mr. Manolo Blahnik.

JESSICA: As far as fashion/home-decorating porn goes, that was awesome.

HEATHER: Indeed. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why even bother with plot at all?” Of course, in the end, they kind of didn’t break new ground on that front — but before we get to spoilers, let’s talk shoes.

JESSICA: And bags. And jewelry. And dresses. And giant, feathered headpieces. I felt like I could have watched it with the sound off and been perfectly happy.

HEATHER: What I like about Sex and the City — which was already always a show I enjoyed sort of passively, for eye candy's sake — is that it knows its wardrobe is crazy and doesn’t care. That they gave Carrie and Charlotte a moment where Carrie acknowledged she’d been wearing a bird on her head rather than just a plain old feather, and Charlotte’s sort of amazed/impressed/bemused/scared reaction, is such a wink to that.

JESSICA: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a movie with more clothing-related montages.

HEATHER: Including movies that make fun of other movies with clothing-related montages.

JESSICA: They managed to revisit some of Carrie’s greatest hits from the past — like her long, ratty fur coat — throughout the movie, and in an organic way, so … Yeah, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kind of wished we could have lost a montage or two.

HEATHER: Like, say, the product-placed Vogue montage with the Plum Sykes cameo? Not that it wasn’t cool. Those Top Model shoots could pick up a tip or five. But it did pad out the movie REALLY aggressively.

JESSICA: I know. I enjoyed seeing Carrie’s tutu from the show’s opening credits, but did they really need to spend twenty minutes on her cleaning out her closet? The movie is like two and half hours long! I looked at my watch when we actually got to some dramatic conflict and we were something like 50 minutes in.

HEATHER: You’d think that a movie about four fortysomethings would be more sympathetic to the fact that I am old and my rickety knees can’t handle sitting in a movie theater for that long unless things are blowing up on screen, or Scarlett O’Hara is about to make a dress from curtains.

JESSICA: Speaking of fortysomethings, I thought the ladies all looked good — facially and otherwise. Hair and makeup (and lighting) earned their paychecks. Weirdly, SJP always looks more natural to me as Carrie Bradshaw than she does when she’s out and about on her own, which I guess says something about how good she is in the role. She wore this purple cocktail dress toward the beginning that I deeply covet. And I was pleased that we had at least a few “WTF is Carrie wearing?” moments. It wouldn’t be SATC otherwise.

HEATHER: Style-wise, it worked for me that the film didn’t try too hard to evolve their wardrobes just to make the point that time had passed. Carrie is still Carrie, Charlotte is still Charlotte; the world changes, but they’re the same at their cores, you know? Although I felt for Cynthia Nixon. That weirdly long montage at the beginning — the one bringing people up to speed on the series, as if anyone is coming to the movie fresh — was SUCH an awkward testament to how much she got the short shrift with hair and wardrobe in the early seasons. That woman suffered.

JESSICA: I thought that “previously on the last six seasons of Sex and the City” was really random. I get why they did it, but it felt like a studio note. WE KNOW. Unless the point was to remind us how much more expensively everyone dresses now. The bag Carrie gave Jennifer Hudson alone would cover my rent. And speaking of J. Ho, she’s so cute, but…

HEATHER: Yeah, anyone who hasn’t seen the movie might want to back away so we can talk plot. But come back when you’ve seen it! We will miss you … Okay, phew, thank God they’re gone, so here goes: Jennifer Hudson can’t act unless she’s singing. There, I said it. Also, I sort of resented that she got certain emotional beats with Carrie that I wanted Carrie to have with one of her core girlfriends. Don’t take those away from me, Michael Patrick King. Not when you’ve got a running time equal to FIVE episodes.

JESSICA: I know. As much as I enjoyed the movie — and don’t get me wrong, I will rewatch it every time it shows up on cable — I sort of felt like I couldn’t believe we had to go through all that yadda yadda with Big and Carrie AGAIN.

HEATHER: All the plots felt pretty rehashed, but especially theirs.

JESSICA: They are like those friends you have that keep breaking up and getting back together over and over and over again and eventually you’re like, “Oy. I am so over this.” I mean, I like Big as much as the next girl, but if I were Carrie’s friend, I think I would have a hard time signing off on their shenanigans once more.

HEATHER: What bugs me is that they went to all that trouble to end the series on a sweet note with them, then exhumed that grave and peed all over it. They made Big jilt her! How can we be happy to see them reunite after that? That’s DOUCHEY. Period. Grow up and get your act together, old man. It makes me respect her less that she forgave him for something that humiliating, and I don’t want to have conflicted and deep feelings during a Sex and the City movie.

JESSICA: Speaking of old men, did Noth have something done? He looked different to me.

HEATHER: He looked freakishly well rested. Like he’d just woken up from the world’s longest, most rejuvenating nap.

JESSICA: I prefer my Mr. Big to be more facially rumpled. And less of a total man-child.

HEATHER: Absolutely. And while I find it hilarious — given all the rumors of discord — that Kim Cattrall’s character being in L.A. led to her having about six entrances in which everyone had to squeal and hug her and be thrilled to see her, I did think the movie was at its best when it focused on the girls’ bonds with each other and less on contrived, repetitive man problems. When Carrie and Miranda fought, it affected me more.

JESSICA: Me too. I thought when Miranda showed up at Carrie’s appointment in the cab to hash it out, and she rolled the window down and leaned out to talk to her, it was SO like Mr. Big. I thought that was a really nice touch — making the point that, in the end, your relationship with your girlfriends is as meaningful as any relationship you might have with a man. And for me, that’s always been what the show has been about. Not to be cheesy. Well, that and the shoes.

HEATHER: Sniffle. Does that make you my lady-husband? I will NEVER jilt you. Not even for those hot blue Manolos that were the movie’s touchstone. I need them. They were gorgeous, elegant, sexy, and maybe a bit impractical — just like the four girls themselves. —The Fug Girls

THREE HOURS OF LOST TONIGHT - I'm going to lose my shit.

So all two of you that read my blog know that I am a hugeomongo fan of LOST. If my opinion counted for anything in this world, I would definately say that it is probably the most well scripted and thought out show that has been on television in the past ten years. It's mind numbingly awesome in a way that most shows aren't anymore, since most shows are of the reality obsessed genre. Clearly I can't understand why someone would want to watch Paula Abdul drool into her lap and jump up and down like a fifth grader instead of watching Sayid crack a bad guy's neck with his THIGHS - his thighs people. Even the least compelling character on LOST (Kate) has more bite than any other top-five shows in primetime combined.

The thing that I love about this show is that it wasn't one of those shows that is on for a couple seasons and then all of a sudden people are buzzing about it (like seinfeld and even sex and the city, which didnt get big till about midway through it's second season). The pilot came out and POW that was it, you became an addict. It was game on in the very first moments when Jack opened his eyes and saw nothing but jungle, you knew that this wasn't just a show about being stranded on an island. I can usually rewatch that first episode the same way I would watch a movie, which says alot about the writers.

Anyways, the show's fourth season finale airs tonight starting at eight p.m. and not ending until ELEVEN - how's that for a punch to the throat? Three hours of who knows what can happen - if it's anything like the end of last year's finale, I think I might just implode from the sheer awesomeness.

My predictions for tonight:

1) Michael is the one in the casket, and dies on the boat. I have a hunch that Jin is the one who kills him.

2) Claire is really dead, and died when the house exploded.

3) Walt comes back again, in some goofy way I hope I don't hate, because he used to be one of my faves

4) Jin dies on the .... boat?

5) Desmond kicks everyone's ass again with his time travel, and we see more of Penny. maybe a reunite?

6) Ben kills Keamy (at least I hope - that guy is soooo obnoxious bad guy)

7) Hurley freaks out the entire 3 hour episode

8) Sawyer dies...??? Just a guess.

9) More WTF moments from the future

Nobody call me tonight after the hours of 8 p.m. - I am dead to you all until tomorrow.

Outifits I would wear if I were in the new Indiana Jones Movie

The new Indiana Jones movie sucked. But since Sex and the City is not out until Friday, I am going to think about what I would have worn if I was Indy's Sidekick.

If I had been SHORT ROUND:

Sean Connery:

Miriam:

Mutt whatever his name was:

Or this guy:

Kwame didn't help me on the elevator

I shared an elevator with Kwame and three of his zoot suit bodyguards the other day, and none of them helped me with the two huge boxes I was dragging along with me. Instead they kept commenting on how slow the elevator was once I got on it. (Note to KK: ease up on the cologne buddy, one spritz will do).

Since I'm a brat and hate the unchivalrous, I followed them out the back door and ducked out ahead of Kwame when his bodyguard held the door open for him.

That Escalade is irritatingly ugly.

I stopped wearing makeup

Working downtown is a constant struggle between being able to do what I like (i.e. looking nice), and being able to do what I can to not get accosted. It's easy to stick out in this part of town if you're dressed in clothes that either are a) clean or b) not a bright purple/mustard/lightning blue colored polyester suit. Things are also more difficult if you're a girl, as I am. Just the other day, I was picking up some takeout (this city does boast some pretty good thai) and on my way back to my car, this black guy - wearing what I took to be one of Cliff Huxtable's old sweaters, and, of course, bling - started hooting at me like an owl from his parked rusty white minivan. Nice.

I realize that really this happens to everybody everywhere, but when it happens in my specific area it's so much more annoying and violating. So I basically made up my mind last week to stop wearing things that make me presentable since it's such a waste. First thing on my list was to nix the makeup in the morning, and opt for a more "fresh" appearance. I'm sure it was probably very shocking to my co-workers, as I am one of those people who look completely different when going bare. Maybe ugly is the word I'm going for, which is perfect for my plan in surviving this city. I don't know what's scarier: My makeup free skin or getting hollered at by the toothless parking lot attendants by Comerica Park.

I've noticed since last week that my skin has gotten a lot glowier though in the absense of my suffocating makeup, and I'm kindof liking being ignored at the gas station now. I'm going to jet tail it to Sephora this weekend to stock some products that will induce a healthier makeup-free complexion, because while not making myself up has become my drastic plan of action, letting myself go and being completely ugly is just pushing it. I love fabulousness, after all.

The snack of the truly ghetto fab...

I'd love to see what glorious person was eating these:(You can't see it but the small writing on the purple strip says "stay in school")

Sometimes, I love this city. Sometimes.

Lazy Wardrobe Revamp

So it's been quite a while since I've shopped for anything besides makeup and shoes, and usually when I haven't done anything to keep my clothes updated for a while I start to feel overwhelmed. Mostly because when I look at all new collections I want to get everything at once and get frustrated because I know I can't, and while staple pieces are just fine and dandy, I'd much rather have fun and exciting new up-to-date clothes. Which is why I was so delighted this morning while I was perusing the new Elizabeth and James spring '08 line.

Normally I don't buy into celebrity clothing lines because I think most celebrity affiliations with labels are tacky, but I think the Olsens have done a good job keeping their name completely out of their collections The Row, and Elizabeth and James (named after their younger siblings). Plus I just love every single one of their pieces, and it's more or less the kind of clothes that I can see myself wearing at least for the next year or so. Unlike the Kate Moss Topshop line, which was pretty relevant this past year in Barneys Co-ops nationwide, the E&J line seems to be better quality when it comes to fabric and make. I love lines that are so effortless and easy to put together and I've been wearing way too much Marc by Marc Jacobs these past few years and I'm getting kindof tired of the cutesy colorful clothes, so I think I'll give this line a try.

I've always been a sucker for any kind of fringed mini-dress, and this one is a nice version to the classic. It's a nice party dress to have on hand but hopefully when the occasion calls for this dress, my body will be in tip top shape. It doesn't leave much to the imagination. The best part about it is that supposedly it is machine washable (score!!)

Again, my legs will have to be slammin' in order to pull these off, but i'm determined.

Am I all about the dress or something this season? I know there are tons of versions out there of this sillhouette, but when I was in high school the look I always aspired to emulate was good old Jennifer Aniston's. I haven't lost that admiration apparently and every so often I always find myself admiring something that I can't help but think she would be wearing right now.

This ridiculous model doesn't do this ultra cool blazer justice. The Elizabeth and James website shows this jacket belted on their model with incredibly chic boots, exactly what I have lurking in my closet waiting to see the light of day.

It's not that I'm so uncreative that I want to jack the styling of this celebrity fashion line, it's that I'm so lazy right now to actually completely revamp my entire wardrobe by spending the whole entire day at the mall, or all morning at work and having to pay shipping. I'd rather just knock it all out in one go.

And the 'Auf goes to...

My Predictions for this upcoming week's Project Runway:

1) Victoria Beckham will smile

2) Sweet Pea will be the one to overstress and underdeliver

3) Christian will say "so fierce" approximately 24 times before his garment walks down the runway

4) Rami will continue to annoy me with that same dress he keeps draping over and over

5) Michael Kors will outqueen Tim Gunn

6) Nina Garcia will dazzle me yet again with her always perfect hair

7) I will not miss Ricky